My friend Gavin has just noted that although he was not looking forward to a visit from Steve as it was raining and consequently inconvenient, not having exotic or even reasonable shelter, when Steve and Mike left Gavin was a but disappointed. So not wanting the visitors then became not wanting them to leave. I pointed out that it is often the case that when someone gets what they want they often realise they don't really want it.

The point I am about to make is that it is not a pair of opposites, it's not a change of mind, though from social intimacy view it exactly a change of mind.

The issue here is that if the material object of desire or lack of is not the issue in min d then the mind has not changed, just the appearance has. To put it more clearly, maybe, the desire of wanting or not wanting is the same in both instances.

My use is that I have a friend who wants to move away from this area. I like them enough not to want them to leave but love them enough to want them to go where they please. So I will neither encourage them to stay or help them decide upon the move. If I find myself doing either I will change the words to avoid action in any direction.

For I ma happy not to want someone to visit and happy that I don't want them to leave. It is that I don't want is the key. Want I don't want is to want. =Equivalently if I want company there will be a place where I want the company to go.

If I bring it, then I dispose of it. If it comes of it's own volition then its own volition will direct it.