My recent tiredness led me to sleep-in a while whence I reflected on recent experiences, which I won't elaborate on unless asked, though no doubt I will voice them a few times.

The outcome was that I wondered why I was such a bully at times and turned to using force and violence to get my way. I really don't have a way of knowing so it must all be down to fear of loosing and loosing not just physical assets but mental security.

It seems I have used my intellect to navigate the traumas I have encountered. I accept that my traumas are insignificant to many person's, but all is relative.

Navigation seems to be a simple mathematical process applied to the body and obstacles can be pushed aside with enough strength: and intellectual strength can be used on certain people, especially those who show a dependency on something I can control. Emotional blackmail may be terms I could use also.

Negotiation is something I would rarely use, so much so I cannot think of an instance where I have negotiated. There are many instances of implied and superficial agreements but none that have taken any effort on my part.

I do not like to be beholding to another and negotiation reeks of weakness and insecurity. Sure I am not physically strong enough to take what I want, nor do I wish to use a gun or extreme tools to bully. My own body and mind should be enough to get what I want I hope, yet I still seem to used them in a bullying manner.

There is no doubt a history wherein I could find the instigator(s) of this mechanism. I can see my addiction to being more independent and self sufficient as off-springs of both the trend to bully and the attempt to escape the bulling environment, which is how I see the world around me.

The will has guided me to try and remove myself from this facet of consciousness yet I still persist in this world of consumerism.

I can trace my induction to navigation from the repeated ability of authority laying down the rules of my behaviour when to all intents and purposes those authoritarians have no integrity, at least to my intellectual assessment.

So today that I have considered that negotiation is a tool I could use and wonder why it has taken nearly 70 years to note. I cannot fathom why it has been so difficult to negotiate but am wary of it. My view is that most negotiators are devious, deceitful and degraded individuals. I will give general examples of how common it appears to me and therein is the reason that I avoid negotiation and revert to navigation.

Navigation requires no consideration for the environment, people and rocks can be pushed aside given enough leverage and those levers are physical strength and logical argument.

Like logical argument negotiation uses arguments to persuade the mind of another to provide or step aside. The issue I have a problem with is the regularity and repetitive use of ambiguous words rather than mathematical language, to persuade people to act en-mass. This is most obviously seen in religion, political parties, campaign groups, charities etc. The process is always to persuade people that there is a better way to be a consumer and if you subscribe to their movement, someone at least, if not all will be better off and happier.

The problem as I see it is that happiness cannot be achieved in such a way as the dumbing down dependence on the intellect where emotions guide the body to consume; as in Facebook and Twitter where just a few word can be amplified and is really just low level bullying on a massive scale.

So now I am turning to negotiate but can I do it without the bulling engine that has been such a reliable lever for, well, ever. I am afraid that I won't succeed and just become a devious bastard but I think I owe it to myself to see if I can remain independent and become a negotiator at least in part. Of course what comes to mind and is the hurdle to navigate or should I say negotiate is ~ not wanting to be a consumer ~ so what is the focus of my negotiation and with whom may I engage.