avoid

In trusting someone there is an explicit expectation of love and loyalty for instance. However in trusting another there is an inherent polarity and so the apparent lack of love and loyalty can be disappointing and frustrating. Dependent upon local culture the method, the resolution, or failure to resolve, may be expressed in anger, rudeness, blame and/or violence. These expressions although often directed at the 'other' party can be turned upon the self, through lack of self esteem.

A process of turning the mind to developing consciousness, can be recognised in challenges and changes to the above polarised view of trust and expectations.

First the mind will realise it's own part in all feelings and outcomes, and develop a will to reduce, with a view to end, all incrimination's of others. No one is to blame for how I feel.

Secondly logically I cannot blame myself as I am a person also and if no one is to blame that includes me.

Meditations and austerity can drastically reduce the amount of expectations and yet they feed the intellect in challenges by the willfulness to reduce the consumption, karma and cause and effect and blame and do not in themselves reduce stress. They are just a sign that the process is in hand.

As the will grows in finding alternatives to exploitation and blame love is an optional process, and yet one difficult to grasp given the history of cause and effect.

However the sheer weight of the mind challenging the notion of blame and expectation leaves little option but to accept the place of being, that I am where I am.

As I generally accept my own responsibility for all I think, feel and do; so I have a choice to blame or not to blame. It becomes a game. A game that soon becomes boring as I know there is no logical benefit in doing so and just uses resources that may be otherwise utilised or left as a pristine resource, like the notion of a waterfall hidden away in some forested valley.

The change to loving myself is the basis of loving others, and I find myself progressing along this ancient path.

I have infinite space to play this out and I see how I think to counter my education, of cause and effect and blame. If I blame anyone, including myself, it is just a game. So I laugh at myself when I do, which can be embarrassing, but at least the blood flows and I don't get so uptight. I can see the water flowing and I intend to let it flow without even taking the smallest glimpse of the life in it's mist or the love in it's midst.

The process is clear. My expectations are clear, my will is resolved.
Remove expectations of others and stop blaming them.
Stop blaming self
Love self
Love others