avoid

I have suffered and been the transferrer of pain, radiant and transparent. It would seem there \is no absolution no way of bein absent, yet I dwell through time maybe trying to dilute the feeling. I wish I were strong enough to feel but am inclined to a destiny taht will deprive me of awareness of those times the suffering endured.

It's here, dare I access it, will I founder it a time of pain a time of desire, a time of my own. It is not something I wish to share so I struggle to free the mind from time where pain is just a lack of feeling what eternally exists.