avoid

Not as in the land but differing tiers, more like terracing. But here I refer to consciousness or turning points in realisation.

First I must clarify that none of the levels are any better, like tomorrow is not better than yesterday just different and seemingly inevitable.

I have this notion of not really wanting much being young and being fed but ere I took my first mouthful and yes not breath I had a taste for for what was to come or what at least what I wanted to come and so my journey on concsious consumer craving grew.

At some point I was all to aware that this warmth had to be obtained and was not just freely given, I had no right to it but the ability to demand it.

Then came the notion that I had to pay for it or work for it and my competitive nature grew. This I was not happy about and hoped to evade by hook or by crook.

It soon became clear that I could not rely for ever on consuming and so death was a way out but before I could reach that end my need for support led to have a family providing not just security in numbers and warmth but justification to make demands.

Slowly as my children grew to emulate all these destructive demands I drew on the knowledge that trying to sustain myself was cruel. The fear that had arose when young and having to cry to get what I wanted just couldn't carry on and there were more people than I could shake a stick at that were crying out to me for warmth and sustenance.

It's clear that I want to reach beyond the need to consume, not just avoid cruelty, but a endless search for fulfilment, the habit of fillking my mind with anything other that the thought of death