avoid

So there's a wagon with two wheels, she has problems balancing but it can be done. However every time the load changes a new balancing act is required. More often than not the wagon is either ass down or tits down, neither is very attractive and leaves the wagon open to use at either end.

Then there's the wheel, I mean not one of the ordered pair that are inherent to the wagon, but the odd wheel, the lonely wheel with no wagon. He has trouble just standing alone and is at it's best when rolling along. The faster it rolls the more stable it becomes, yet in it's stability it unwittingly losses control and becomes less able to direct itself.

Thus the wheel and the wagon are both contray and complimentary; the later has lack of direction and yet is plainly stable, whereas the wheel so able to have direction but such is reciprical to it's stabily. Of course there are instances of the wagon and the wheel with direction and stabilty as in the segway and unicycle, but each is topped by a directional spin and wobble.

The spinning top comes to mind only in it's similarity to the wheel that it's stability is directly related to it's speed of movement, which is this case is rotation on it's axis. Although no more than a toy, a playful reminder of self absorbtion, like the wheel the top can be used to stabise a wagon, yet it adds nothing to direction.

Now the stories of the wagons with three wheels is diverse for each three wheeler travels it's own sweet or sour direction, not confined to the tracks required by a wagon with spinning top.

Whereas the direction set by the third wheel may be deemed undoutdedly devious, the wagon is largely liable for the load. Large or small is not the primary issue, but both balance and weight are. For the directional wheel losses control in inverse proportion to the weight. And of course if the wagon becomes ass heavy and tips back then the extra wheel is defunct. If the load is too forward and demanding the direction is grounded and the front wheel digs in. So there has to be some effective control of the load by the third wheel, something the wagon finds hard to swallow.

What keeps the wheel to the wagon is friction and part of that is the sheer weight of the wagon, yet before such intimate bonding there has to be some force that brings them into proximity, that of attraction and repulsion.

Attraction is in the direction of the void. No matter where you want to go you can only go where there is space to park, the attraction of the emptiness. This is not the same as the apparent attraction of opposites or that birds of a feather flock together, this is a basic principal underlying attraction, birds to food and the filling of wagons.

It is arguable that a wagon needs no destination and can be self fulfling, but then it would be a mere container, that could be moved, a skip. A wagon has more awareness than a container as it anticipates movement and is keen to shunted around. The attraction is the avoidence of the numbness of being filled with the same old crap. Better a ship be that can ply a variety of good and evil; at least that is the draw, the illusion, that by being on the move it's possible to avoid at least some of the crap.

And so we value the singlemindedness of the wheel, the promise of freedom, and are all to ready to blind ourselves to the ineviatble lack of stability and bogging down in the mire or desire.

Bullying

When a obviously larger force tries to influence a smaller the term bully may be applied to the former, whereas when the later tries to influence the former it may be called pestering.

Size or mass do not differentiate the two, although such properties may help to note them. Insects as well as deer are pests to me, whilst I'm cultivating crops. If a human were to ravage my plants they could be a criminal in the theft or damage they action, but the human must have intent. So if the person is starving, in such a case they are a pest, like a beggar, a busker, a charity mugger, a solicitous soul touting for money for use of their body or use of your mind. At this point all advertising is one or the other.

Social Media becomes bullying when enough pests outweigh the target and the influence is acknowledged. Perfect business would respond to a single compliant before it grows to a pester, let alone fester.

Bullying is not confined to the battery of another and UK law does define assault as other than unwanted physical contact. It is the repeated action that is bullying. Physical violence may not be bullying if there is no intent of outcome, whereas continually arguing a point to persuade another certainly is.

As bullying requires a force to be reckoned with, many small voices, which individually can pester, all to easily become bullies, as in trade unions and social media. That such exist shows that the individual who alone is a pest feels bullied.

Employers, are inevitable bullies along with the law in general. In fact anyone laying down the law is a bully as the only criteria for a law is that it can be enforced.

So bullying unlike pestering can only be done with some degree of concious effort, albeit minimal. A bull may not appear as clever as a poor hungry orphan but in defence of it's territory will use it's mass to support it's anger to move an intruder.

Bullying and pestering are not real properties as they represent a polarised view, yet each of us acts out both sides of the argument adding to the notion of at least a relative sense of what is real.

This is early learnt, from a baby crying, knowing it will get attention, maybe food, may be toys. In such years the child can be both a pest at the instant of being demanding and yet a bully in that it quickly learns to control the parents by crying repeatedly and making a fuss or maybe some sort of tantrum. Not surprising then that teenagers, wanting to free themselves from the confines of domestic control 'play up'. Nor therefore should it be surprising that adults, although the main recipients of both are also the greatest perpetrators.

Parents as authorities are bullies, yet there has traditionally been the greater and the lesser, usually the male and the female respectively. However remember the child in each of us, when faced with a kinetic force that a male may use the female will undoubtedly use potential force and is no less a threat and can bully by position. To which degree each gender uses each is no doubt largely customary.

What is sure is that parents are more likely to bully each other than pester whilst the children are more likely to pester. No wonder social media, the love of the young is a hive of pests. Yet the sheer number makes the platform the main playground for the bully. No wonder some parents have taken to shame their children on-line; for pests can be bullied.

It's just pointless to bully a bully as it will surely end in divorce or death. Best a pest be and single at that; but what conduct can I cultivate to ease the bulling and pestering that binds me to consume this world and further not to acquiesce and be complicit in those characteristics in others.

I decided a few days ago it was about time to test my dried poppy latex. I thought of having a a strong analgesic/anaesthetic in the event of being the subject of intense pain, so I wondered if pills made of the dried juice of some exotic poppies may be an effective option.

About half four yesterday afternoon I took some 2 grammes of dried latex comprised of six small balls about 4.5mm in diameter. The pills were at least a couple years old and hard and dry; I washed them down a cup of juice. It took some hour before I was sure I felt different however some 18 hours later and I am still not operating as usual for me.

The first thing I noticed was that it was easier to relax, almost like I didn't have to try, although I had felt it was a good space to be in. As there is an expectation that I would relax I have no idea of the effectiveness as this point.

The next notable matter was loosing co-ordination similar to alcohol, however this was accompanied by an intellectual clarity.

But by far the most notable properties was feeling a slight butterflies in the stomach increasingly becoming a feeling of sickness. I had already decided I wouldn't like to eat but I also found drinking disturbing. Since I have drunk maybe 100ml in small mouthfuls and only just now did I keep a quarter of cup of lemon tainted water down around 11am and now I feel like vomiting.

One other notable thing is that I can't swallow easily or fart. It seems the 'opiates' ... oops! I have to throw up .... multiple times, god knows where the fluid came from: and on that note, no doubt some of the dizziness is due to lack of fluid and sugar,.

I have moments of warmth, though not too flushed, and short spells of shivering with a cold feeling when out in the fresh air. Still now I have thrown up I feel better.

Given the paralysing effects of the opiates it's little wonder I cannot co-ordinate my limbs and that the peristaltic motion in the alimentary canal is curtailed. No doubt the pills don't pass through the stomach however the small amount of liquid swallowed, with the associated vomiting does at least remove some of the matter, which could well be most of that consumed.

At this point It is clear that I may have taken too much; the mental benefits are not an inducement to take more and the physical discomfort dissuades me from trying again. I have troubles seeing as focusing muscles are slow, which indicate a general lack of involuntary muscle control. which in theory it could affect the heart. :)

Just had one of my many half an hour breaks as I cannot focus for long, the last vomit got rid a bit more embedded bits.

Well the day is moving on and brightening, but not much chance to doing anything physical x x x

12:26 Have to lay down repeatedly to stop feeling sick almost any movement brings sickness on, but once I've had a rest I feel positively well, yes not just ok. I feel lighter, more relaxed, happy and . . .

14:40 Feeling a bit more as usual, though I feel a bit sick after a drink I haven't thrown up, which is good as I haven't had a pee for ages.

18:00 Well after a full cup of sweet rooibos tea, some hour later I have thrown up, and it appears more came out than went in. This is a pity as I am still not flushing my kidneys.

There's also the question of the contents of the vomit, still very dark with bits which reminds of the term coffee grounds used for blood in the stomach, although I am pretty sure this is not the case here.

Still I'm feeling ok and have done some physical work, which may have brought on the vomiting???

I managed to eat some oats, raisins and strawberries this evening.

Monday 25th More oats and strawberries this morning: all good

Well we all have some idea of how we were born and from conception we are fed on death, nutrition extracted by force, without consent the innards and skin of other beings. We are then lied to constantly, being told that we are creative and alive and that killing is bad. Then we learn to kill and hide the corpses amongst the flowers and then, fittingly, we die.

Life is a great idea but let's not kid ourselves that we could find it. Our co-operation is the only thing that makes us strong enough to kill and ensure the survival of the fittest; for god's sake!

Page 2: Mindnumbing and Gutwrenching Stupidity

Pages: 1· 2

No doubt each of has half of the genes of a particular parent, which half is occult as is the quality of each chromosome. Still the odds are we may have have the weaknesses that each parent suffers from. They may show physically and be exacerbated by upbringing.

Your upbringing may be tough yet with enough freedom to develop certain strengths which override certain weaknesses, but this while attractive whilst young may require earlier onsets of illness due to the extra work your body has to perform.

It is the mind, following upbringing that will encourage the body to perform.

Others may not have had a challenging upbringing and so will have to develop their mind at a later age, without parental support. This equates to a later stride for freedom and may often encompass drastic measures such as drug taking to find one's own path.

Whereas the changes to the mind may be beneficial spiritually, as the shocking new worlds quickly put the slave mentality on the not to do list, the body however doesn't respond well to this indifference to well being. Not eating well, to many late nights.

So the later person is less well able to deal with stress and may think that more drugs will help them escape the subjugation to the pain or worry. Of course this will only be a bandage to a bleeding heart and it is best to end the procrastination and deal with the wound.